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elkaw:

fucking gordon ramsay


258,953 notes | Reblog | 1 year ago

oh-deir:

ACTUAL MESSAGE OF (500) DAYS OF SUMMER THAT NO ONE ACTUALLY REALIZES


796,110 notes | Reblog | 1 year ago

detrea:

fuckyeahhugsandkisses:

a-little-insane:

the best part about being the little spoon while cuddling is being able to rub your butt against the person’s junk

The best part about being the big spoon while cuddling is getting to rub your junk against the person’s butt

The best part about the big spoon as that it lets me get bigger portions of ice cream as I cry alone in my room.


508,844 notes | Reblog | 1 year ago

whimsicdoctor13:

algrenion:

chel-the-fabulous-asstec:

lalondes:

kevinprices:

lalondes:

if you sold all your eggs you would make $3.2 billion

your uterus is worth $3.2 billion

#and a nutsack is worth like $25 and half a pb&j

I JUST REALIZED THAT THIS MEANS EVERY TIME YOU HAVE A PERIOD YOU LOSE $8,000???????????? TERRIBLE

Maybe that’s why we get so emotional

#this is it #we cracked it #the secret of periods

did you just make an egg pun


664,208 notes | Reblog | 1 year ago

sweptoutofmymind:

today I burned my tongue on a piece of pizza and I think that it’s a very strong metaphor that sometimes the things you love most in life will hurt you.


578,867 notes | Reblog | 1 year ago

bellig-on-the-reg:

tforge13:

wordssetinstony:

tricksterkids:

cadegrey:

mjwatson:

i don’t really understand where penises go when boys wear pants

sometimes to the left

sometimes to the right

sometimes up

sometimes down

sometimes painful

sometimes not

depends

take it back now y’all

One hop this time

please don’t jump on my penis

charlie brown


203,587 notes | Reblog | 1 year ago

(Source: i-am-the-oracular-spectacular)


29,357 notes | Reblog | 1 year ago

45,207 notes | Reblog | 1 year ago

(Source: todeswalzer)


67,586 notes | Reblog | 1 year ago

alexmordamn:

my mom just asked if she could try on my glasses to see how they look on her so i gave them to her and she went to look in the mirror and then came back into my room and was like “i dont think so what do you think” and i was like “mother i can’t even see you” and her response was “where are your glasses”

(Source: findingcarters)


111,522 notes | Reblog | 1 year ago
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